It's Not Worth It

 Sometimes people really bother me. This kid comes in who is 18, maybe 19.
  "You know the other lady that works here." He paused waiting for my response.
  "Ah, yeah. Ash? The one with the glasses?"
  "I  think, I'm  not sure." He rolled his eyes. "The crazy eyed one."
  "Yeah, that's Ash." Honestly, I've never noticed her "crazy  eye", but the only reason I still knew it was  her was because my boyfriend told me she had one.
 "Anyways, she freakin' (Okay, the word he used here did start  with  a F, but  it wasn't exactly this word. I won't repeat it.) carded me." I wasn't exactly sure what to say to this. "And I didn't have it one me, it was in my truck."
 "Uh yeah." I paused for a brief second. "We're suppose to card any one under 27." He looked shocked.
 "Oh, I didn't know that." His friend patted him on the back. "You must like me, you never card me."
  "I never card you because I remember carding you last year when you first turned 18..." Yes, in case any one was wondering I have an excellent memory.

Later as that night progressed another guy came in with two of his cousins.  I looked at the guy and thought he was gonna buy some tobacco and thought that he's probably still to young. When they got to the cash register the oldest cousin bought a pack of cigarettes. As they was leaving the guy started talking to his cousins.
 He said "The other day I went to the gas station  and they freakin' (Once again, I changed the word.) carded me! He paused waiting for her response, but then decided not to give her a chance to say anything. "I mean seriously, I know I don't look younger than 18."
Are you kidding me? Both these boys were under 20, I know that much for a fact. Why is it so shocking to them that someone carded them? By law we really are suppose to ID anyone under 27 for tobacco products. Not to mention, by law you are suppose to have your ID on you for us to sell it to you, even if we know you're over 18.
I've said it before, and I will say it again, it's not worth the fine if I got caught selling to someone underage. Enough said.
03-07-2015

I'm a Sinner in Desperate Need of God's Grace

         FRIDAY NIGHT:
  A few nights ago, Friday I believe, Bob came in at 7:56. Only four minutes before closing. That was okay, except I knew what he wanted. Scratcher lottery tickets. I already took the lottery down and the store was busy, I wouldn't have time to redo everything I've already done. I told him in advance I already took it down, then he gave me a disappointed look.
 "Why can't you sell me tickets anyways, all you have to do is take them out."
 "I can't because it's four minutes before I close, I have other things to do." I paused for a brief second. "I don't have time to redo the lottery, sorry."
 "Oh come on, please. This is the only reason I came here. I won't do it again, I promise."
 "Okay." I hate telling people no, and I didn't want to make him mad.
 "Thanks, I won't get very many."
 That was the end of that story. I wasn't mad at him by any means, I just a little annoyed because he knows what time the store closes, yet almost every night he comes right at close. I'm normally nice and just get him some, but as I already said I didn't have the time that night. Just so you know he lost on the tickets he bought. I know I probably shouldn't have been happy that he lost, but I was.

                   

       MONDAY NIGHT:
 He came in again a few nights later, thankfully this time it was only 7:20.
 "How are you today?" I asked him smiling.
 "I'm blesssssssed." He answered with a half smile. -That is how he always answers, I think that's his way of making fun of my beliefs.- I only smile back. "Looks like you aren't angry today." I knew exactly what he was talking about, he thought I was angry Friday night.
 I half smiled. "Looks like someone is here before four minutes until closing time."
 "I don't know why you guys take the lottery down that soon anyways." Before I had time to answer he changed the subject. "Churchgoers aren't suppose to get angry." He laughed like he was trying to make me feel bad about being "angry". I did feel bad though, I'm suppose to be an example to people like him, even on my Bad Days. I wasn't being a very good example if he thought I was angry.
 "Well, I wasn't angry, only just a little irritated."
 Somehow that started a conversation about how he never gets angry, but that other part of the conversation has nothing to do with this. I should add, I've seen him angry, he's not as perfect as he was trying to sound there.
 As he was scratching his tickets, I kept thinking of how he told me churchgoers aren't suppose to get angry and what I wished I would have told him. I wish I would have simply told him I need Jesus.



           WEDNESDAY MORNING:
 Here's the thing, I am a sinner in need of God's grace. I'm not perfect. I get angry, I think thoughts I shouldn't, I lie, I covet, I have people that I dislike, I put other things before God, I'm selfish, I'm lazy, I cheat, I have lustful thoughts and act on them. Lets face it, I reject God daily. I'll admit it, I hate to admit it, but I'm no angel. I'm far from perfect, but that's why I still need Jesus.
 If I was perfect, like your idea churchgoer, I wouldn't need Jesus. I'd be okay on my own, but I'm not. I need Jesus. The funny thing is churchgoers need Jesus too. I've heard so many people say they won't go to church because there's to many hypocrites there. NEWS FLASH: That's why people go to church, because they need Jesus. Church is a hospital for sinners. Their hypocrisy just shows me how much they need Jesus, it shows me that they understand how they are suppose to live, but they still have their struggles. That's why they are in church. That's why I am in church, not because I have it all figured out, but because I don't. I'm a sinner in desperate need of God's grace.
 Just to clarify, I'm not saying it's okay to sin because Jesus forgives us anyways, I know I still need to strive to be the best I can be. All I'm trying to say is that I'm just like you; I need Jesus...



Unimportant Side Note: Man, Bob just keeps showing up in my blogs... He was in Money and Planting Seeds also.



                                                                                                                                                01-25-2015    

What Has Jesus Been Teaching You?

  I'm so glad today is over! It was one busy day! I've been so busy cleaning and stocking things work. At 7:00 I finally got to work the register. I love working the register, so I can talk with everyone.
 There was this one guy that came in, I've seen him before. He's complimented one of my Christian T-shirts, and he told me once how he was letting some missionaries stay at his house. This is a cool guy. He walked up to the register and started talking with me.
 "What has Jesus been teaching you here lately?" He asked me with a smile.
 I was shocked with his question. It was so random how he asked me. I really had no clue what to say to that. My mind was spinning, trying to think of something to say that wouldn't sound stupid I finally managed to say "Uh, not much." I tried and say it quiet because I knew that wasn't the answer he wanted.
 He looked at me, I could see the confusion in his eyes. "Not much?"
 Of course that answer wasn't acceptable. Jesus is always teaching us something, if he's not we aren't listening. I thought about it a few seconds longer and I remember the sixty five dollars from God Will Provide. I didn't explain everything I just simply said "Well, He's been teaching me that He will always provide."
 "That's great! God certainly will!" Then he quoted Matthew 6:33.
  After he had left I kept thinking of how stupid I must have sounded. I barely was able to tell him anything that Jesus had taught be here lately. Then I started thinking how Jesus really hadn't taught me a lot within the past year or so. Why? Because I've been busy. I've been to busy to listen to Jesus' voice.

^{Luke 10:38-42} As Jesus and the disciples continued on their way to Jerusalem, they came to a certain village where a woman named Martha welcomed him into her home. Her sister, Mary, sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what he taught. But Martha was distracted by the big dinner she was preparing. She came to Jesus and said, “Lord, doesn’t it seem unfair to you that my sister just sits here while I do all the work? Tell her to come and help me.”

But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
 I'm Martha in this story. I've been distracted with my education, with my work, with my boyfriend, with my family, and with my hobbies. Yes, all of these are good things, but so was the big dinner Martha was preparing. Martha was so busy with the dinner she forgot how important it is to listen to Him. She needed Jesus to remind her to slow down and listen to Him. He is far greater then that dinner she was preparing. In the same way, I think God used this man to remind me of that also. I need to slow down in my busy life and listen more. What has Jesus been teaching you?




                                                                                                                                                  1-24-2015

God Will Provide

  Last week was awesome... I was given sixty five dollars in "tips". Yay! I love tips, especially since I ever get them. Cashiers rarely get tips.
 A regular customer came in and bought some lottery and cigarettes. We small talked a little, not really much. Out of the blue he told me he forgot to give me my Christmas present. I of course thought he was joking. There are a lot of customers that joke about giving me something, but all of them are doing just that, joking. I laughed it off. Then he handed me a fifty dollar bill. I wasn't sure what to even say, I tried giving it back, but he wouldn't take it back. So I just thanked him.
  Two days after I had to close the store that night. During my shift an unusual amount of people kept handing me the wrong amount of change. I would have "made" over one hundred dollars that night if I was dishonest with everyone. I wasn't though. I gave everyone back the amount they should have got back, even if they didn't realize they gave me to much. I finally got off. As I was heading to my car I saw a ten dollar bill just laying on the side walk.
 The next day it was a normal day, nothing exciting really happened.  Although, a customer did give me five dollars! This one actually is kinda funny. This old man came in and asked if he could use the restroom which is right behind the register. Of course I let him use it. I forgot about the man, then an hour or so later this man comes out of the restroom hands me a five dollar bill and told me I saved his life... Needless to say, that bathroom stunk really bad.
  On my way home from work I was praying. Asking God why he had given me sixty five dollars when he could have given it to someone who actually needed it instead of me who has a lot of money saved in my bank account. I didn't need the money one bit, I thought maybe it was a "test", but that didn't make any sense because I have always been honest, this is something I don't struggle in. Finally I left it go. I told God that I didn't understand why he had gave me the money, but I'll leave it at that.I realized I didn't need to question why God had done that.
 During the same drive home I started to complain to God how my boyfriend/unofficial fiance is planning on taking a job that only pays 8.50 an hour. That is not enough to support a family! I just didn't see how it would work. But finally during that prayer I remembered the sixty five dollars he gave me. If God gave me this much money when I don't need it, how much more will God provide for me and my family when I do need it?
 ^{Matthew 6:31-33} “So don’t worry about these things, saying, ‘What will we eat? What will we drink? What will we wear?’ These things dominate the thoughts of unbelievers, but your heavenly Father already knows all your needs. Seek the Kingdom of God above all else, and live righteously, and he will give you everything you need.
 I love that verse. If I start living the way I should God will make sure he provides for me. So, moral of this post is I'm gonna learn to trust in God more. Maybe I need to quit thinking about all of this so logically and just place it in God's hands and trust him in this. He provides for the birds, surely he will provide for me just as well. I just need to learn to trust God in everything. God will provide for me.
  


                                                                                                                                                 1-23-2015

Just Another Day

 I've never had good experiences with birthdays. When it comes to birthdays, I grew up in a house you rarely got a present, if you were lucky you got a cake of your choice, and you picked out your favorite home cooked meal to have for dinner on your birthday night. My parents were never into the celebrating birthday thing, I barely got a happy birthday from them. I've learned over the years that birthdays are just another day, there's nothing special about them. Occasionally I forget that, and I actually get excited about my birthday, I get disappointed every time I do.
 It was almost my 13th birthday. I was so excited! My family never did anything for birthdays, but I remembered thinking this would be different since it's my big 13th birthday! I remembered how a few years ago was my sister Mollies 13th birthday, everyone celebrated it. My other sister and her husband took Mollie out for dinner, at her choice restaurant, another sister of mine got Mollie a card and some money and even my parents got her a card and a present. So even though birthdays have never been important in my household the 13th birthday must be! I had a dream where it was just like all my birthdays had been in the past. I brushed that dream aside. No way was it just gonna be like my normal birthdays when Mollies birthday was so awesome!
 Finally my 13th birthday arrived. It didn't take me long to realize my birthday was just another day, nobody cared that it was my big 13th birthday, and that I was finally a teenager. No cake, no presents, no cards, nothing except for a few happy birthdays. I was so disappointed, I cried that day a lot. Honestly it took me five years to get over my disappointment.. I thought nobody loved me. If they did they would have given me the special treatment Mollie had gotten on her birthday. With that being said, ever since my 13th birthday I pretty much hated birthdays in my mind nobody cared, my birthday just reminded me how much they didn't.
 This year will be my 20th birthday, I got excited again. This will be the first birthday that I have someone to celebrate it with, my boyfriend. We had planned to go over to his parents house to celebrate the new year, I was excited because him inviting me to spend time with his family isn't something that happens very often at all.
 My birthday would have been perfect, except things never go the way I want them to. Now, I have to freakin' work on my birthday. Why? Because my boss knew it was my birthday and didn't care. He wanted off that day, I guess if your the boss your allowed to be selfish though. He always claimed he appreciates all my hard work. Yeah, I can tell how much he appreciates me... So much I need to work on my birthday. Not only do I have to work on my birthday, but I have to close the store down on my birthday, when I shouldn't have had too. My sister, the manger whom writes the schedule could have at least let me get an hour off early and let someone else close. Honestly, as childish as this sounds, I cried several times over this whole thing within this past week. I'm okay now though, I think.
  Let me get something straight, I realize if it means so much to me that I don't work on my birthday I should have asked for it off. That was dumb of me to expect to get it off just because my sister writes the schedule. If I worked anywhere else that would have been expected to ask for it off and not just assume I would have it off. My boss may have known it was my birthday that day, but I guess when you are a boss you're allowed to be selfish.
  Despite me working on my birthday, I'm not going to let it ruin my day like I've done in the past when things don't go the way I want them too. Why not? Because there are things in life we can't control, but what we can control is our actions and our re-actions. We can control our attitude. If we choose to be upset about something we can't control what good does it do? It makes it where nobody wants to be around you that's about all it does. That's why I'm choosing to be happy despite me working on my birthday. I'm done being upset, that didn't help any it just made me feel worse.





                                                                                                                                         
                                                                                                                                                12-26-2014

No Room In the Inn

 It's Christmas tomorrow! I love Christmas! I was wiping down the shelves, checking the dates on all the items, and pulling the grocery items forward to make everything look nice the other day. While I was doing this I heard a Christmas song on the radio. The song I heard mentioned something about how there was no room for Jesus in the inn. That line got me thinking.
 There was no room in the inn for Jesus. He was born in a filthy stable instead. It's kinda disappointing to hear that, He's king! He deserved to be born somewhere nice and clean.
 Even now, as Christians there is no room for Jesus. Just like there was no room for Jesus in the inn, there is no room for Jesus in our lives. We cram our days with so many things it's hard to fit everything we need to do in it, so we do only what we find most important. How sad is that; There is no room for Jesus in our lives because we replaced him with the filthy lust of this world. Everyday we choose this world over Jesus. He should be king of our lives, not this world.
 We claim to be Christians yet there is no evidence of Christ in our lives. We're to busy for him.
Church?  I stayed up late last night I'm to tired. The Bible? I'm to busy. My day is booked I don't have time to read the Bible. It doesn't apply to be anyways. Prayer? What's the point? I doubt praying will do anything. Witness? I'll sound stupid. Music that praises God? Nah, I like my brake up, drunkin' parties, sex filled songs to much. We will come up with just about any excuse or justification to help us feel better about leaving Jesus out of our lives. The thing is God isn't fooled by them. He saw you could have left that party early, so you could wake up early to go to church. He saw you watching television when you could have been reading the Bible or praying. He sees our hearts. In the same way that you make time for your family and friends, if God really is important to you, you will make time for him.
It would be easy for Jesus to be in our lives constantly if somehow he was just forced in it. There would be no problem then. But we need to make room for Jesus, in the end he is the only thing that matters in the end anyways.
 Where is Jesus in your day? Is there room for Him? I hope so, I know this is something I've always struggled with. Jesus died for us, so that we have a way to heaven to live with Him eternally! The least we can do is bring him into our everyday lives.





 As you go through your day, remember to make room for Jesus. Here is one of my favorite Christmas songs, with a great reminder. Without Christ Christmas is nothing. This Is Christmas. I hope you have a very merry Christmas!!!

Never a Dull Moment

  I'll be honest, I don't have very many exciting stories to tell. I work at a grocery store. Yes, it can be as boring as it sounds. Very little happens where I work that is actually interesting or exciting, but yesterday afternoon, something interesting happened at work. Something that I would have never expected. The police came into the store I work at, fully armed.

 My day started out as a normal Thursday, until three o'clock in the afternoon. I looked out the window and saw a tan police blazer with its lights flashing red and blue, driving on the road right next to my work. I wondered where they were going. Next thing I know, I saw them pull into the parking lot! What the heck are the police doing here I wondered. There were three of them. They got out of the blazer extremely fast, then ran into the store shouting, "Police!" They each had their guns lowered like they were ready to use them at any moment. I can't even describe how confused I was at that moment. As far as I knew no one here had done anything even remotely wrong. One police officer shouted and asked if anyone was in the back of the store. I answered him and told him there was someone there. My sister was in the back of the store, working. They started to search the store. They split up, searching the small store, each one took their own aisle. They were headed to the back of the store. I knew there was nobody in the store except for my sister, the owner's dad, my boyfriend and myself. Of course, they didn't know that. As they were searching the store, my heart was pounding, I was scared. I was scared because my sister was in the back of the store. She didn't know police was in the grocery store; I bet you anything that was the last thing on her mind. This might sound silly, but I kept thinking of all the news stories and movies that showed an innocent civilian getting shot because the police didn't expect them. I was scared my sister would end up wounded, or worst dead. Exactly like the people on those shows. I know that probably doesn't happen very often, but the thought still crossed my mind. I was still very concerned. My boyfriend must have seen the concerned look in my eyes, he moved closer towards me and touched my back. Unfortunately, his comforting touch didn't help me any. I was relieved when I saw the police coming back to the front of the store without anyone. My sister turned out just fine.

 The whole event took less than ten minutes. The police found nobody, just as I expected. They said they were looking for an armed suspect who was wearing a blue vest. The suspect had been seen in the area, so they decided they needed to check out the grocery store I work at. They asked me if I had seen anyone fitting their vague description. I thought back, trying to remember seeing someone wearing a blue vest, but my mind was blank. I see so many customers in one day, someone in a blue vest isn't going to stand out to me. I remember people’s faces, not their clothes. Later on that day my sister reminded me of a customer who comes in regularly, came in wearing a blue vest. I remembered seeing him once she had mentioned him. I specifically remember he got six dollars’ worth of gas. Then he wished me a merry Christmas. I would be lying if I said I was surprised that this person is a suspect. The rumor is he is a drug dealer.

  Maybe this story wasn't as exciting as you might have expected it to be, but I found it very exciting. The whole thing seemed like a scene from a movie. It was that crazy. Sometimes I need stories like what happened yesterday, just to remind me my job isn't boring. Actually, after that, I am doubtful I will ever complain about having a boring job. This event made me realize that in reality I probably have a more eventful job than a lot of people do. Simply because I deal with hundreds of people each day, hundreds of crazy, dramatic, eventful people. People are full of events, which somehow manages to make my job just a little more exciting, sometimes.

                                                                                                                                                12-11-2014