Just Like That Tree

  It was a slow night, I had already had everything done so I didn't care that I was texting my boyfriend while working, I had less then an hour left anyways. One of my favorite customers came in. He saw I was on my phone, normally I try to hide when I am, but I didn't care that night.
  “Aren't you suppose to be cleaning?” He asked jokingly. He's one of the customers that usually comes in the same time I mop, so it's very rare for him to see me doing anything else but cleaning.
  “Nope, already got everything done.“ I smiled.
  “Facebooking?” He asked, seriously now.
  “No, texting.“ I smiled once again.
  “What did you just say?” He looked shocked.
  I looked at him straight in the eye so he understood me this time. “Texting.“
  “Oh okay,” He looked relieved. “I thought you said sexting”
  “Oh definitely not.” I felt ashamed just hearing that word.
  “Okay good. A good Christian girl like yourself shouldn't be doing things like that.“
  “I would never do that.” I felt guilty, I had done that before, and now I'm lying about it.




  Kevin and I went walking through some woods earlier today. During our walk there was a creek with a fallen down tree laying perfectly across the creek. Kevin just walked around it.
  “What you don't want to walk across it?“
  “No, it probably is sturdy, but just in case.” I went around it as well and saw there was a big crack in the middle of the tree.
  “There's a crack.“
  “See, good thing we didn't walk across it.” He paused for a moment. “Sometimes things look sturdy, but they aren't really.”




  I felt like that tree that had fallen down. On the outside everyone sees this perfect little Christian girl who would never do anything like sext. Someone who knows what she believes and will stick with it no matter what. Someone who can conquer temptations of any kind. Someone who has it all together. Someone strong. Someone godly. Everyone sees someone I'm not, just like that customer did.
  Here lately, I've been feeling anything but sturdy. I feel like I'm putting on this act, pretending to be someone I'm not. Someone I want to be. Pretending to be this sturdy girl, when it reality I'm not sturdy on the inside. I'm broken, just like that tree. I have fallen and I don't know how to get up. I don't know how to get out of this mess I've created. I'm stuck.
  The amazing thing is, it doesn't matter how stuck I am. It doesn't matter how far I've fallen. Jesus will always be here to help me up. I can't do it on my own, but with him I can do anything, Through my weakness Jesus makes me strong. Isn't that cool? We all have some sort of weakness, but Jesus will use our weaknesses to work though us and make us stronger then we ever thought possible. 

                                                                                                                                                03-22-2015