I've never had good experiences with birthdays. When it comes to birthdays, I grew up in a house you rarely got a present, if you were lucky you got a cake of your choice, and you picked out your favorite home cooked meal to have for dinner on your birthday night. My parents were never into the celebrating birthday thing, I barely got a happy birthday from them. I've learned over the years that birthdays are just another day, there's nothing special about them. Occasionally I forget that, and I actually get excited about my birthday, I get disappointed every time I do.
It was almost my 13th birthday. I was so excited! My family never did anything for birthdays, but I remembered thinking this would be different since it's my big 13th birthday! I remembered how a few years ago was my sister Mollies 13th birthday, everyone celebrated it. My other sister and her husband took Mollie out for dinner, at her choice restaurant, another sister of mine got Mollie a card and some money and even my parents got her a card and a present. So even though birthdays have never been important in my household the 13th birthday must be! I had a dream where it was just like all my birthdays had been in the past. I brushed that dream aside. No way was it just gonna be like my normal birthdays when Mollies birthday was so awesome!
Finally my 13th birthday arrived. It didn't take me long to realize my birthday was just another day, nobody cared that it was my big 13th birthday, and that I was finally a teenager. No cake, no presents, no cards, nothing except for a few happy birthdays. I was so disappointed, I cried that day a lot. Honestly it took me five years to get over my disappointment.. I thought nobody loved me. If they did they would have given me the special treatment Mollie had gotten on her birthday. With that being said, ever since my 13th birthday I pretty much hated birthdays in my mind nobody cared, my birthday just reminded me how much they didn't.
This year will be my 20th birthday, I got excited again. This will be the first birthday that I have someone to celebrate it with, my boyfriend. We had planned to go over to his parents house to celebrate the new year, I was excited because him inviting me to spend time with his family isn't something that happens very often at all.
My birthday would have been perfect, except things never go the way I want them to. Now, I have to freakin' work on my birthday. Why? Because my boss knew it was my birthday and didn't care. He wanted off that day, I guess if your the boss your allowed to be selfish though. He always claimed he appreciates all my hard work. Yeah, I can tell how much he appreciates me... So much I need to work on my birthday. Not only do I have to work on my birthday, but I have to close the store down on my birthday, when I shouldn't have had too. My sister, the manger whom writes the schedule could have at least let me get an hour off early and let someone else close. Honestly, as childish as this sounds, I cried several times over this whole thing within this past week. I'm okay now though, I think.
Let me get something straight, I realize if it means so much to me that I don't work on my birthday I should have asked for it off. That was dumb of me to expect to get it off just because my sister writes the schedule. If I worked anywhere else that would have been expected to ask for it off and not just assume I would have it off. My boss may have known it was my birthday that day, but I guess when you are a boss you're allowed to be selfish.
Despite me working on my birthday, I'm not going to let it ruin my day like I've done in the past when things don't go the way I want them too. Why not? Because there are things in life we can't control, but what we can control is our actions and our re-actions. We can control our attitude. If we choose to be upset about something we can't control what good does it do? It makes it where nobody wants to be around you that's about all it does. That's why I'm choosing to be happy despite me working on my birthday. I'm done being upset, that didn't help any it just made me feel worse.
12-26-2014
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